Saturday, 28 August 2010

The Damage of Lies

A friend of mine, Tiffany Bailey, has recently started a brand new relationship advice blog, and a few days ago she wrote a post about lying in relationships. You can read the post by clicking here.

Tiffany's post got me thinking about how lies affect a relationship and while I was replying to it I realised how ridiculouly lucky I have been in my own relationships. The two long term relationships I was in were with men who were both completely honest. Well, when I say completely, I'm sure they told me that my bum didn't look big and that my new haircut wasn't as horrific as I thought, but you get the idea. They never lied about anything that would damage our relationship.

*pauses to think about why I broke up with them - but that is a story for another time*

Lies are a strange thing. We all tell them sometimes but, when does a small lie turn into something bigger? Have a look at this article: The Difference Between a Lie and a Little White Lie and tell me your thoughts in the comments.

Tuesday, 24 August 2010

Single? Wondering why? Read on!

These days, a lot of people are single through choice. Perhaps it is because they are focusing on their career or they are simply happier not having to think about anyone else when making important decisions.

But what about those who don't want to be single? Finding the right person is not easy, but some people really make it more difficult for themselves by giving off a bad vibe and killing their chances with the person they like with no idea how they've even done it!

I wrote an article called Reasons You're Still Single, as a short and very basic guide to the things people frequently do that are unattractive to potential love interests. This is not a full list - you may be looking for a partner and not exhibiting any of these traits - but the point of it is to think about anything you may be doing that could be considered off-putting. Take a look and let me know what you think!

Wednesday, 18 August 2010

How Do You Define Cheating?

People define cheating in different ways. While some consider a kiss to be cheating, others don't think it's cheating unless there is full sex involved.

Personally, because I am into 100% dedication and commitment in a relationship, I would consider anything from kissing and beyond as cheating. Flirting and suggestive texts or emails are disrespectful and a definite warning sign but as no physical contact has happened, there is a possiblity that I MIGHT (big might *lol*) let it go.

I have devised a poll at the side of the page where you can vote on the things you consider cheating. You can choose more than one option.

I would really love to write an article on this topic so if you could please leave your thoughts in the comments, they may be published at a later date. If you don't want your thoughts published, just leave me a note and I will leave them out. Finally, if you don't mind your thoughts being published but want them written anonymously, drop me an email to ksanders2410@gmail.com

Thanks guys!!

Monday, 16 August 2010

What turns you OFF?

Let's face it - no matter how much we love our partner, there are things about them that make us cringe. Of course, those things become part and parcel of who they are and we learn to live with them but what if we had known about those habits before?

I have been thinking about things I look for in a man, and things that would make me run screaming in the other direction. I write up a definitive list of my ultimate hates here: Five Things About Men That Turn Me Off, so take a look and see if you agree!

Which things are deal breakers for you? Let me know in the comments!

Friday, 13 August 2010

Sex

No, this is not merely a ploy to make you read the post :p I really want to talk about it! When I am not blogging both here and at A Time To Shine, I am writing articles. A while ago, while perusing Helium for suitable topics I stumbled across a debate about whether people should have sex before marriage. In this day and age, such a debate surprised me a little. Not because of the topic but because of the result. The poll was split with 58% for and 42% against. I would have expected the swing in favour to be much higher given that a lot of people think not having sex until after marriage is an outdated idea these days.

If you click on the link above, you can read my feelings on the topic, but do look at opposing views too - it's very interesting!

I was reminded of the topic this week when my friend, Tiffany Bailey, wrote this article: Are You Ready For Sex in Your Relationship? It brings up many important points that a lot of people tend to forget about, and should certainly keep in mind before getting into a sexual relationship.

In reality, getting horny then getting naked usually take precedence over good old-fashioned common sense but that doesn't mean that we should forget it altogether. Stay safe!

Please share your thoughts in the comments!

Thursday, 12 August 2010

Ways To Deal With Your Jealousy

After writing this post about how to deal with a jealous partner, I promised to share an article from the other side.

Before I post it though, I would like to write something about me. If you're wondering where I got my inspiration from - it came from me. I mentioned how jealousy is an ugly emotion, but it is one I have to fight with all the time when it comes to romantic relationships. I know it is unpleasant for the people around me but it is not a great deal of fun to feel that way either. I usually blame my jealousy on the fact that I am a Scorpio - the star sign of all negative emotions(:p) - but really, I cannot blame my star sign for everything!

In order to cope with this hideous feeling, I have had to construct ways to handle it because the prospect of feeling that way forever is not a good one. I am pleased to say that after some practice, these techniques are pretty damn useful so I want to share them with you!

Ways to Deal With Your Jealousy. Let me know your thoughts!

Tuesday, 10 August 2010

Handling a Jealous Partner

Many people refuse to admit that they have a jealous streak. It sounds like a weakness. At first it's sweet when your partner gets jealous over you, it shows they care. But what happens when it becomes constant?

When you are always having to explain your whereabouts it stops being sweet and starts to become annoying. You get angry and frustrated and you get into endless fights because they won't hear you when you say that you aren't cheating on them. For the jealous person though, it's not so easy to comprehend, especially if they have been hurt before.

Make no mistake, their insecurities are entirely their own, but if you value the relationship, there are ways to handle a jealous partner. Click on the link and let me know what you think.

As I find this topic fascinating, I will be following this entry up with an article from the other side, entitled How To Handle Your Jealousy. (It is currently in a queue awaiting publication, so it may be a few days before it's ready!)

Monday, 9 August 2010

Serial Daters

When I say the words "serial daters", I guess you know what I mean. I'm talking about the kind of people who move from one relationship to the next without any break in between. No time to recover from the last broken heart before setting up another.

These people exist in all of our lives. At some point it is very likely you will have known a serial dater. You may have even been a serial dater at some point. If you are still a serial dater, don't take offence. It's not an outright bad way to live life, but it does have problems, especially if you are in search of Mr.Right.

You may have heard that Mr.Right is only ever found when you stop looking, and for the most part I believe that. Diving right into a new relationship immediately after ending the last does not allow you enough time to heal, be single and be open to meeting the guy who is really right for you!

For more thoughts on this topic, read my article: The Dangers of Being a Serial Dater

Friday, 6 August 2010

Quick post about comments

Hey guys,

I have just realised how bad Blogger is in terms of comments. There is no "reply to comments" button and when I tried to install a different one it wiped out all of my previous comments and wouldn't let me post anything! So, I have removed it now, my comments are back and I am replying to comments just by typing in the box! I don't want anyone to think I am ignoring them ;)

Thursday, 5 August 2010

eHarmony - What I Learned About Myself Through Using It

I heard about eHarmony through a friend of mine over a year ago. She said that in the U.S it had a very high success rate because of the unique way matches are made. At that time, eHarmony UK was being heavily promoted in the UK, so much so that I immediately hated it! *lol* A few months back though, I decided I would join in order to write an article about my experience. After all, it's free to join!

That article never got written. But I am going to share my experience with you. The free joining is not actually worth the time and effort spent filling in the millions of personality questions that you get in order to find matches. When your matches come through you can't see photos or chat to them until you pay.This is a brilliant deterrent against weirdos joining up and using it for a laugh but for people who just want to get a feel for it, it's a little bit frustrating.

A while later I got an offer for three months membership for the price of one. In the name of research, I decided I would give it a shot.

Now, I can only speak for my own experience, I am sure others have had much better luck, but although I was appraoched numerous times by men who were interested in me, I had a hard time finding anyone who seemed as if they would ever be my type, prompting me to slightly question the matching system. I grant that maybe in my haste to get through the questions, I may have mis-read a few towards the end when I got bored though! Many men refused to put up a photo and even when requested, they refused. Why contact someone if you don't want them see what you look like? Would they arrange a meet up with a bag over their head??

When trawling through my daily matches, I also found a ridiculous amount of men who had written "hbbsdigfhdsgfsbf" and other such random gibberish in all of the information boxes. If that isn't a waste of time, I don't know what is!

So what did I learn about myself through using eHarmony?

1) I am fussy
2) Very rarely am I attracted to men who are attracted to (explains a lot LOL!)
3) When I see really good looking men on a dating site, I assume they are on there for a bet because nobody that hot would ever be on a dating site (:p)
4) I will never use a dating site for research or any other purpose ever again!

This is in no way a slight against eHarmony itself. I know that it has matched many successful couples but you have to be VERY determined to find the right one, and well.....my heart was never really in it!

Have you had any experiences with eHarmony? Perhaps you know someone who has? Please share any stories or thoughts you have in the comments!

Tuesday, 3 August 2010

The Best Sexy Lingerie Sites on the Internet - Putting the Fizz Back Into Your Relationship!

Whether you've been together for a few months or many years, there are times when that sparkle in your relationship seems to fade away. It's a perfectly normal thing and certainly not cause for great alarm, but if you are missing that element that makes your relationship fizz, there are ways to get it back! Sexy lingerie websites are a very popular and quick way to help inject a little oomph back into your love life. They are especially useful for people who work hard and don't have time to head out to the shops for some sexy shopping!

With just a few clicks, you can find the perfect sexy lingerie, guaranteed to satify! ;) Take a look at the best sexy lingerie sites on the internet

If you have some favourite sexy lingerie sites, share them in the comments :D