Thursday, 5 August 2010

eHarmony - What I Learned About Myself Through Using It

I heard about eHarmony through a friend of mine over a year ago. She said that in the U.S it had a very high success rate because of the unique way matches are made. At that time, eHarmony UK was being heavily promoted in the UK, so much so that I immediately hated it! *lol* A few months back though, I decided I would join in order to write an article about my experience. After all, it's free to join!

That article never got written. But I am going to share my experience with you. The free joining is not actually worth the time and effort spent filling in the millions of personality questions that you get in order to find matches. When your matches come through you can't see photos or chat to them until you pay.This is a brilliant deterrent against weirdos joining up and using it for a laugh but for people who just want to get a feel for it, it's a little bit frustrating.

A while later I got an offer for three months membership for the price of one. In the name of research, I decided I would give it a shot.

Now, I can only speak for my own experience, I am sure others have had much better luck, but although I was appraoched numerous times by men who were interested in me, I had a hard time finding anyone who seemed as if they would ever be my type, prompting me to slightly question the matching system. I grant that maybe in my haste to get through the questions, I may have mis-read a few towards the end when I got bored though! Many men refused to put up a photo and even when requested, they refused. Why contact someone if you don't want them see what you look like? Would they arrange a meet up with a bag over their head??

When trawling through my daily matches, I also found a ridiculous amount of men who had written "hbbsdigfhdsgfsbf" and other such random gibberish in all of the information boxes. If that isn't a waste of time, I don't know what is!

So what did I learn about myself through using eHarmony?

1) I am fussy
2) Very rarely am I attracted to men who are attracted to (explains a lot LOL!)
3) When I see really good looking men on a dating site, I assume they are on there for a bet because nobody that hot would ever be on a dating site (:p)
4) I will never use a dating site for research or any other purpose ever again!

This is in no way a slight against eHarmony itself. I know that it has matched many successful couples but you have to be VERY determined to find the right one, and heart was never really in it!

Have you had any experiences with eHarmony? Perhaps you know someone who has? Please share any stories or thoughts you have in the comments!


  1. I reviewed E-harmony a few years back, and at that time, they didn't match same-sex couples at all, so that immediately struck me as offensive. Not that I was trolling for chicks; I just like to have all things equal where ever I choose to participate. For the record, I don't know if they've changed this or not since.

    Also, I don't believe they even took into consideration my personality when they matched me. They seemed to just pick people from my age group at random. I was pretty much already doing that for myself at MySpace (lol). Also, I hate it when people judge me on age alone. :/

    A good FREE dating site I'd like to see reviewed is Plenty of Fish. I'm interested in knowing how legitimate it is, and I'm sure a lot of people are as well. If it's not a bunch of horny guys looking for sex, I may recommend it to some people. So if you decide to ever revisit the dating sites for your articles, that wouldn't be a bad one.

    But ugh. E-Harmony's just garbage in my opinion.

  2. Ha, thank you Zona! I wasn't expecting more negativity so I immediately feel better about my post now!

    The age range thing was based on my choice, if I remember rightly - though it was a while ago so I may be wrong. My matches didnt seem to be completely random but an awful lot of them were really into fitness, jogging and healthy eating - none of which I embrace very well! *lol*

    I never thought to look into the same sex aspect - maybe someone will read this and enlighten us.

    I know someone who uses Plenty of Fish but just for friendship not for dating. Maybe I will talk to her about it when I next see her!

  3. I just looked. They do allow same sex searching now. Before the only choices were "I'm a man seeking a woman" and "I'm a woman seeking a man." Good to find they've changed that.

  4. That is good! It would be very bad to be shut down for discrimination!

  5. I have never tried online dating primarily because I'm skeptical of not knowing his true character (not that you ever really know it, but at least in person you get a feel for him). I think not seeing pictures would be frusterating...I need something to "hang" everything I know on, you know?

  6. Someone I know tried EHarmony. After filling out all the millions of questions, they told her nobody would be a match. LOL

    I also didn't think to highly of them because of the no same sex couple matching. i'm glad they changed that.

  7. Okay, I found the drawback to Blogger - there is no reply button to reply to comments!

    Ronnica - I know exactly what you mean. Online dating is a bit scary and when people are unwilling to show who they are it just makes it worse!

    Jenn - LOL, well that sucks! And I agree, it's a good thing that they do same sex matching now too.