Wednesday, 18 August 2010

How Do You Define Cheating?

People define cheating in different ways. While some consider a kiss to be cheating, others don't think it's cheating unless there is full sex involved.

Personally, because I am into 100% dedication and commitment in a relationship, I would consider anything from kissing and beyond as cheating. Flirting and suggestive texts or emails are disrespectful and a definite warning sign but as no physical contact has happened, there is a possiblity that I MIGHT (big might *lol*) let it go.

I have devised a poll at the side of the page where you can vote on the things you consider cheating. You can choose more than one option.

I would really love to write an article on this topic so if you could please leave your thoughts in the comments, they may be published at a later date. If you don't want your thoughts published, just leave me a note and I will leave them out. Finally, if you don't mind your thoughts being published but want them written anonymously, drop me an email to

Thanks guys!!


  1. I couldn't vote in the poll, as you need a blogspot account. So, I'll just give my thoughts here.

    I would class everything apart from flirting as cheating. I'm very much like you, and into 100% dedication and commitment in a relationship.

    Additionally, I would class certain emotional things, as well as physical things, as cheating. I fully believe someone can have an affair/ cheat on their partner without it being physical.

    I don't mean turning to a friend/ colleague etc. for support, but I think there's a line that can be crossed when you're depending on someone emotionally, rather than your significant, that can often be more hurtful and damaging tothe relationship that something physical.

    Basically, I think it varies from person to person, but anything that breaks trust, I would class as cheating.

    - Clare Dugmore

  2. Bugger, I didn't realise people need an account to vote! *frowns*

    Thanks for leaving your thoughts! I agree that there is definitely such a thing as emotional cheating that can be equally as damaging if not more so than physical cheating.

  3. Personally, I'm not a fan of even seemingly "innocent" suggestive texts and emails as I believe these are signs of a deeper problem in the relationship. I suppose it's not cheating per se, but it's certainly a precursor to it.

    Melody Jones

  4. I don't believe that cheating can be defined by an action alone. It needs to be defined by the relationship itself and communication between partners. Each couple needs to set their own limits.

    Personally I think that cheating isn't about the actions, it's about the honesty in a relationship. If I have full sex with another person and my husband is OK with it, how is that cheating? But if I flirt with someone behind his back, that certainly seems dishonest and therefore 'cheating.'

  5. Melody - I am not a fan of the suggestive stuff either, because as you say, it seems like it could quickly lead to something more.

    writtenwings - You bring up a good point there. While I was thinking of writing an article in very basic terms about the way people perceive what is cheating (with the assumption being the partner was not aware of the situation), I definitely agree with you that overall, it is about honesty. Many people have open marriages and as such aren't really cheating if they are being truthful about what they did.

    Thanks ladies, I have lots more to think about now!

  6. I think cheating can be emotional, not just physical. Like Clare said anything expect maybe a little flirting is crossing the line.

    But I also agree w/ writtenwings. It totally depends on what the couple decides is cheating. For some it might be innocent flirting, but for others as long as both partners are cool with whatever, then it's fine.