Monday, 4 April 2011

C is for Confidence

In Saturday's post for "B" we covered break-ups. Continuing that theme, I would like to talk about getting your confidence back after a break-up. Confidence always suffers when a relationship ends and it is hard to find a way to get it back.

During my hardest break-up, I just couldn't bear to get out of bed. I felt that I would never find anyone who I loved that much again and I didn't think anyone would want such an emotional wreck anyway. A good friend of mine told me to get out of bed, take a long bubble bath, put on my favourite clothes and force myself to smile. I told him that he was an idiot and it would never work. After a little more nagging, I did as I was told. Of course, I wasn't instantly cured but it did make a big difference to my overall state of mind.

The key to getting your confidence back after a break-up is to do small things that take the pain away for a while. When the pain eases, you feel like yourself again and your self-esteem isn't quite as low. I can't promise it will be a fast process but if you stick with it, you will slowly find your way back to being as happy as you were before the heartbreak.


  1. There aren't enough years left in my life to build my confidence again.

    Popping in by way of the A-Z Challenge. I’m blogging at:
    Write, Wrong or Indifferent
    Marie Anne’s Missives
    In the Garden With Sow-n-Sow
    Every Day Crochet

  2. Aww, Marie Anne! There is always time for confidence! :D

  3. @Marie Anne, you can do it!! You are awesome!

    @Karent, great post!

  4. Great topic! And I agree with Karen and Loki, Marie Anne!

  5. I have been there before! My first love breakup was the WORST!! I don't think my confidence has fully recovered, but time did heal some of the pain.

  6. Loki and Jenn - Thanks!!

    Krazy Kendall - Just like the song says, "The first cut is the deepest"!! The first break-up is always a horrible, horrible experience.

  7. I think a lot of people have been there before and I think that heart break is a matter of perception. You can change your perception of how it feels if you want to.

    One thing I recommend is remember people come through our lives when they are suppose to and they exit when they are suppose to. I firmly believe this. My hardest break up forced me to see this and I realized his purpose in my life was to show me I was capable of loving again. My love was not intended for him obviously but it proved to me I was capable of it.

    Fangirl Next Door CLICK ME

  8. Unfortunately too many people are more destructive than creative. Seems whenever we build confidence in ourselves, others are bound to destroy it. We have to give confidence to ourselves and not allow others to hurt us. Hard to do, and it sometimes takes a lifetime, but better to work on building confidence than to let others destroy it.

  9. Teresa - that is a great way to look at break-ups!

    Theresa - I agree! It really takes a long time to build confidence, but it can be very quick to knock down.