Saturday, 9 April 2011

H is for Heartless Wench

Let me give you a brief explanation about the time my friend decided to date my ex boyfriend, and the pitfalls of deciding to choose a man over a friend.

More than anyone, I understand that it isn't a simple situation and I know that some women don't want their friends dating their exes for purely selfish reasons. That wasn't the case for me. My ex was still my best friend. The reason for our split was not that we couldn't get on, rather it was lacking the spark to make the relationship go the distance, if you know what I mean ;)

The "friend" who got with my ex was an online friend. I had never met her in person before but she had just been through a break up from her partner of 8 years and I invited her over for a while to cheer her up.

Funny, the one who ended up miserable was me.

It wouldn't have been half as bad if she hadn't lied her way to his heart. She was a manipulative type, saying things subtly to make him question me. After 8 years of friendship, you'd think he would know better but that wasn't the case.

I won't deny that I made mistakes at the time too. I could have handled the situation much better. But not once did I tell a lie to get my own way.

What made it so hard for me was that he really couldn't have cared less about me once she came on the scene. He treated me like something he had scraped off the bottom of his shoe. Oh sure, he made a few lame attempts to make it seem as if he cared about my friendship but never once did he pick up the phone to check in and see how I am. I called a few times at first, hoping that if I made the initiative, then maybe he would too. He never did though. The last text I sent him regarding some of his crap I found at my house, he ignored.

It doesn't hurt so much anymore. And maybe I shouldn't blame the heartless wench for lying about me when he should have been able to think with his brain and not his penis. But women like her make me mad. I hate that there are women who are so desperate not to be alone that they throw themselves at the first man that looks their way regardless of who they might hurt.

I say this not to offend, rather to explain just how much damage can be done when people put their own feelings above anyone else's. While it would always have been weird for a friend to date my ex, I would have been an awful lot happier if she hadn't lied to me and to him about her motives.

Perhaps one day she will get what she deserves, but I won't waste time thinking about it. It seems the less conscience a person has, the more they get away with.

In the words of the legendary Kurt Cobain, "I would rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not."


  1. I had a friend do the same thing to me. She had a huge ego and thought she was was the best thing ever. The funny thing is they lasted a whole month and he was STILL calling me. Girls are scandalous and men are pigs.

  2. The boundary line for some is very narrow. Wanda
    The Watered Soul

  3. Kendall - Strongly agree!!

    Wanda - True indeed!

  4. People can be so awful sometimes. It constantly amazes me, even though I see it all the time.

  5. Yep, it's a Heartless Wench that would do such a thing. Love the Kurt Cobain quote!

    I’m A-Z Blogging on Langley Writes about Writing and Langley’s Rich and Random Life

  6. Kate - Me too. Some people really don't have any morals at all!

    Langley - Lol, yes it's one of my favourite quotes ever!